Sexual Perception and Shame

Hello you lovely reader, happy Wellness Wednesday!

This was inspired by the OnlyFans: Selling Sexy documentary on Hulu. Specifically the part where they cut to an old Hugh Heffner interview (R.I.P) back in 1993 where he’s quoted saying “what sets Playboy apart is the fact that it isn’t just based on skin. It’s an attempt to incorporate sex into the fabric of society.” That last bit was what got me. Incorporate sex into the fabric of society.

Sex is a natural process. Not everybody chooses to have sex (some religious people, people who identify as asexual) but for the most part, most people will have sex at some point in their lives. And it’s funny how here in the U.S of A, there’s this seemingly casual vibe around sex yet, so many people go into it not knowing what to expect, if they should or shouldn’t have any expectations to begin with, not really sure who to talk to about it, peer groups having to learn from each other pretty much most everything they know about sex I mean … imagine if we went about driving this same way. Imagine if all you knew about driving was what you saw on T.V, what you’re friends told you and if you’d discovered the dirty websites that showed you the raw and nitty gritty stuff of driving and how you grip the gear hard and stomp on the accelerator because (flips hair) … the car likes that baby! Plus, it’s been a naughty car so really tug that gear back and forth, always remember to confuse the shit out the car before you go anywhere, (I’m getting carried away sorry)

Point is, the same way there’d be soo many accidents from letting unqualified civilians into cars without any real preparations is the same way a lot of people’s sex lives are not thriving because if you go into it blind, it’s not going turn out how you want. Not to mention, most people go into it blind hoping for the best (because why not) but then get something starkly different and don’t really know what to make of the contrast. (I love how my single self is really just sitting here typing away here like I’m a sexpert – “sex expert”)

I honestly don’t have any ideas on how you fix something like this. Mine’s just to let you know there’s an issue and, like with most issues, you gotta be proactive about solving it. A wonderful sex life is not just going to magic itself into your life. Like with most things, it has to start with you wanting better, then taking it from there.

Enough pillow talk!

Salad challenge: Every wellness Wednesday I invite you to have a salad with me. Here’s my salad from last week.

Tofu, mince meat, avocados, strawberries, croutons, spring mix, ranch dressing, olive oil, salt and pepper. I put the toppings over the dressing for some reason. It looks dry but it wasn’t.

I also have a video for you on how to make the protein pancakes I showed pictures of either in Intuitive Eating or Physical Fitness: New Me, Who Dis

Without further ado. The instructions are below the video.


Dry ingredients:

1 scoop protein powder

1/2 cup of oatmeal

1/4 tsp baking soda

Wet ingredients

2 tbs honey (sugar only if you don’t have honey)

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla essence

2 1/2 tbs of yogurt

You’ll also need

Coconut oil

Mnm’s or chocolate chips


  1. Blend all your ingredients in a blender ( put the wet ones first. It makes it easier)
  2. Heat your coconut oil on a pan. (If you’re a frequent reader here you know that i’m liberal with my use of coconut oil with these pancakes. If you’re new, hi and welcome)
  3. Pour in you batter and add your chocolate MnM’s/ chocolate chips/ blueberries etc.
  4. Flip once you notice browning around the edges.
  5. PRO TIP: So you know how i’m liberal with the coconut oil, let one side cook with oil, and let the other side cook with the dry heat of the pan. Don’t add oil when you flip it over is what I’m saying. Watch it though, don’t let it burn.
  6. Voila, your done!
  7. Dress with maple syrup, honey, whipped cream, butter, ice cream, chocolate syrup, whatever and however you enjoy them 🙂

That’s all I got for you today. Thank you as always for reading, have a happy Wellness Wednesday and I’ll see you next time.



Published by Paula

Hi, nice to meet you I'm Paula. I created Your Welltivity because I've been wanting to share what I know about wellness for the longest. I got introduced to wellness through physical fitness and nutrition (my two strongest facets of wellness actually because my background is in these two areas). But over the years, I got into health as a whole and wanted to learn more about everything that intersects to make a person healthy. So I learned that things like your environment, your mental health, etc. all come to play, and I just kept getting deeper and deeper into it because (to put it plainly) this shit's fascinating. I'm no expert though. I'm still learning, and plan to stay learning because there's so much to learn about wellness. While I do that though, I thought I'd share what I do know. Thanks for stopping by to get to learn a little bit about me, email me if you'd like at, I'd like to hear from you :) Follow Your Welltivity on Instagram @yourwelltivity. Follow me on Instagram if you'd like @a_m_paula Thank you again for your time, have a lovely and blessed day.

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